Hippos and tapirs

I have been back in Germany for exactly one week. It feels like I've been back forever. The bruises on my legs from carrying my suitcase up and down stairs are the only proof I ever went home (slight exaggeration but you know what I mean. But I am serious about the bruises, they are currently numerous and beautifully green). I snapped back into life in Germany very quickly, going to choir in the evening and up at 6am for school the next day. Christmas in England seems like a dream.

I can now understand why the training course was necessary when I first moved to Germany. It made me feel less alone. The past week has been much harder than the first week of September. I've been unceremoniously plonked back in Germany to continue where I left off. Time for round two. If someone had presented me with a ticket to London at any point this week I'd have taken it without thinking. I would describe my state as wallowing. I didn't want to travel (!!!), just to spend the weekend reading, watching films and eating Christmas cake. I had never appreciated how difficult it would be to find films that don't involve family or friends.

This is the side of the year abroad that gets forgotten about. No-one ever summarises the year abroad as "an amazing experience but you will miss home a lot". They remember it as "an amazing experience" and recommend it to everyone. All the best bits are squished together and the low points are forgotten. For me this week has been more "you will miss home a lot". I wasn't prepared for how much. Christmas had always been floating round my mind as something to aim for. This time I have nothing to aim for. No flight home has been booked. I don't even have a set week to return. So much freedom can be scary.

I apologise for the less-than-cheerful blog post but homesickness is undeniably a part of the year abroad experience. It would be lying to myself and to you by pretending it doesn't happen. But it will get better soon.

Detfurth & Wesseln

Note: Thanks to my brother for the title. I told him I was wallowing and his response was 'like a tapir'. Can you tell he's a zoologist?!

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